it never fails to annoy me to no end, when, after he comes home from work, and finds unfinished, half-folded piles of laundry or a disaster-struck living room strewn with toys and bottles, my husband says, what did you do all day?
now, i know he doesn’t really mean it, and he always says it with a smirk to mean: just kidding.
but, it gets me thinking:
what did i do all day?
i remember when i had a job and was paid by an employer. i left the house at 730 and came back at 1930. i remember looking at the clock sometimes at 1500 and being a little shocked at how fast the time went by. by 3 in the afternoon, i had probably been in a conference call or 10, went to a meeting or 5, had lunch, sent 20 emails, deleted 10 emails, ignored 200 emails, gossiped with colleagues, rearranged my desktop… you know, busy important stuff. i probably also had time to walk to work, grab a tea or two, surf a bit for some guilty pleasure reading, or planned a weekend activity.
now, when i get up, my work day starts immediately, because i get up when lovebug gets up.
i may not be sending emails to secure someone’s speaking role on a panel in Davos anymore, or taking part in a conference call to discuss the global agenda a few times a week, but i am busy contributing to the good of the world in my own way: i’m busy raising a little person, who – i hope – will be a responsible, contributing, conscientious, friendly and all around good citizen one day. in many ways, what i’m doing now is the most important thing that anyone could ever do.
it’s a pity it doesn’t pay better.
still it’s hard to piece together what i actually do. i mean, i cook, i clean, i entertain, i teach, i comfort, i learn, i fail and try again, i smile, i clean some more, i walk, i sit, i crawl, i laugh, i giggle, i play, i sing, i dance, i worry, i hope, i rearrange things, i put things away and take them out, and i try to be creative. i am so busy, i don’t really have time to think too much about stuff other than the here and now.
i am always amazed when it is 7 at night and my husband comes home and asks me the dreaded question. if i had to answer, i guess i would have to say “i did a lot of nothing”, because how can i sum up what it means to be a mama at home with my daughter all day?
when lovebug finally lays her head down at night, having spent an entire day learning and changing, i sometimes take some time to reflect on what i did and i am constantly awed by how time consuming and fulfilling doing nothing all day is.